This morning has been tough for me. I think reality is starting to sink in, and I'm no longer in business mode. Everything has seemed almost surreal up to this point - like it's all a dream, and not really happening. Maybe I was in denial - still not quite letting myself believe that Kol was in as bad shape as he was. That he's have the surgery, recover, and we could get on with our lives.
When the charge nurse came to talk to me this morning, she said sometimes families who transfer over from PICU go through a bit of PICU withdrawl. She's right. In PICU, there was one nurse whose job it was to look after Kol. Just Kol. He had a room to himself, and the sliding glass doors shut out any sounds from other patients if they got noisy - which rarely happened. Visiters were limited, and the staff were all really friendly and calm.
The general ward is busy, and noisy. There is one nurse looking after 3 patients in observation room that we are in. Both of the other patients were watching movies, which, after the virtual silence of PICU was jarring. There were machines beeping constantly; admittedly some of them are Kol's monitors, but they're louder than the ones PICU used.
Kol's recovery also seems to have slowed a bit. Maybe I was just expecting too much. Kol wasn't as alert last night, and was complaining of more pain. He was probably groggy from the sedative they gave him for the MRI, but he wasn't as alert as he has been. He got morphine this morning, and he was happy, moving easily, and playing with Annika a bit, but within 30 minutes of the shot, his headache was bad again. I'm also starting to be concerned about a whole lot of other things that aren't an issue yet.